Day 29: Ragamuffin

Refreshed from my karaoke fix last night I quite literally have a feeling of 'the wind in my sails' today, notice I say 'I' and not 'we' poor Matt was my ever faithful audience. Anyway I was quite excited at the prospect of todays activities, we're leaving Terra firma for the ocean wave - hmm should probably relate to something else, oh well.

Ragamuffin is to be our sailing vessel today, a Maxi yacht emblazed in racing history, I won't bore you with the details here, but do feel free to check them out here:

http://www.maxiaction.com.au/html/rag.html

I'm particularly excited about spending the day on board (and no it's nothing to do with being surrounded by sailors) in the last year in my professional work I've edited a number of sailing programs featuring the Maxi class racing yacht so I felt I knew a little background around the class. They're pretty impressive and as we board we're welcomed by a really friendly crew and the tone for the day is set.

After the standard safety briefing we push away from the quay and we're on our way through the islands to Whitehaven Beach. Once we're out of the shelter of the harbour a good breeze has picked up, about 15 knots, from the shows I know a boat like this needs at least this kind of wind speed just to get going, it's certainly not a racing breeze but it's pretty good for a bunch of land-lubbing tourists such as ourselves.

Onboard I find chatting with some of the other crew and guests a breeze, I spend most of my time chatting to Scott and Marie, a couple from Canada, whilst Matt clings for dear life to the 45 degree angle deck. My dad would be so proud, for the first time in my life I'm really enjoying the sail and I'm barely holding onto anything (there isn't much anyway).

We seem to arrive at the almost empty 7km long beach far too quickly for my liking, but once ashore I'm pleasantly surprised (like so many places we've now been) how much it's like I imagine a paradise beach to be. Matt has also asked me to make mention of the silica sand (what makes them so white) and how it's squeeks under foot, there I think that's covered it!

As we anchor the crew have informed us all that it's 'stinger season' (basically there could be jellyfish) around and we have to wear 'stinger suits' to protect us when in the water. These are basically an all-in-one lycra suit worn over the body, she's still finishing her speech and Matt is already rifling through for his size, I in my modesty have opted not to go in the water and instead walk along the beach taking arty photos and drawing huge great Homer Simpsons in the sand - class.

After provided lunch and avoiding 'the suit', it's back to the boat for our return journey, thankfully just in time to avoid a huge catamaran shipping in literally about 200 people. The wind is still strong for the sail back, but there is also a change in weather fast approaching. I keep looking back over my shoulder to see the sky ever-darkening, ever-closer, I'm reliably informed by the skipper we'll be safely back in port before that catches us and besides the wind is blowing it away from us, my eyes beg to differ.

Sure enough as we turn back in to harbour the rain has caught us and we're drenched, virtually all the other guests have had the good sense to go back down below, but I'm quite happy sat dripping away on the stern (get me with the lingo). A wet coach journey back to the apartment and we're done for the day - well with the exception of a fine meal from Matt and a couple bottles of wine!

Tomorrow: I get that 'sinking' feeling.

Day 28: Airlie Beach

A long day today with a long drive as we are relocating up the coast to get to the Whitsundays. This entails driving over 1000Km in a day. We are using the main highway, but it really isn't that great a road - lots of it is single lane, goes through towns etc.

Dan takes the first shift and is clocking off the clicks admirably and we are enjoying a strenuous sing-a-long to Rocky Horror (Sweet Transvestite to be exact)when we get pulled over by the police. The police car pulls a u-turn on the road and comes along side, then the officer asks us to follow him off the road. He turns off and seems to drive for ages down this dusty dirt track before turning off into a small gravel siding. This seems to be the start of every "hicks kill the tourists" movie I've ever seen.

The guy comes over and Dan does his best "How can we help, Chief Constable" routine. Turns out he was radar-ing passing cars and clocked us doing 121Km in a 100Km zone.

Dan gets his international driving permit and UK licence from the back; when the officer clocks these, he decides to let us off with a warning, which it turns out later is an extremely rare event.

We continue the rest of the journey with the cruise control on, set religiously to 99KPH and are then over-taken by every other vehicle on the road, including a house on the back of a trailer and practically every car, van and truck that we'd passed in the morning.

Still, we've sorted out accommodation and what we're going to do in the Whitsundays over the next few days so that's good.

We get into Airlie Beach and find the apartment - 70s tackarama throughout, then head out to check out the town. This is certainly the liveliest place we have been so far (outside of the cities) and Dan has sniffed out the karoake place in about 3 minutes - surely something of a record even for him.

After a nice dinner we set off for the bar, Dan a bit anxious that the karaoke session has been running for 20 minutes without us there. We get in sight of the bar, thinking all is well, only to be asked for ID! First time in 16 years. Not terribly amused, but we head back up the big hill to the apartment then present the doorman with our driving licences - resisting the urge to hold them close to his face and twat him on the nose.

Dan, of course, is excellent in his rendition of "Love is in the air".

Tomorrow: Cruise number one.

Day 27: Dingoing crazy

This morning we are off to Fraser Island - the world's largest sand island - 123Km from tip to tip, and probably with more sand than the Sahara desert.

We have bitten the bullet and gone with a tour of the place, as it was stacking up as pretty pricey to try and hire a 4WD vehicle, get the ferry over and sort all the permits.

I had romantic visions of us going in a nice small 4WD vehicle, a few of us, to gentle pootle around the island. Not quite so much, more like 40 of us in a big 4WD bus.

As we got near the island on the ferry, they started to give us general hints and tips about the day, all delivered in a relatively relaxed, said this hundreds of times, style way.

"We'll be driving on some quite bumpy ground, so of course make sure that your seat belts are on. There are a lot of dingoes on the island, so don't wander off on your own and keep any children close to you", at which point at least two sets of ears perked up. "What with the dingoes now? You're choosing to mention this when there's no way of getting off the island!"

We dock (or drive the ferry onto the beach, choose your own 'technical word' for it and there is much amusement at watching someone who has hired their own vehicle head dramatically up the beach about 3 metres, before stopping and then having to adjust their tires and dig their way out a little bit. Very glad we didn't hire a car now, wouldn't have even got that far!


One of the great joys of a tour trip is getting to know your fellow travellers. Our little group included a number of middle-aged australian ladies, all with their hair dyed the same colour. One of them, bless, was very loud and had no problem including the rest of the coach in her conversations and general stream-of-consciousness throughout the day. This included her asking Dan what the 'hazchem' sign by the petrol station meant (Dan held his tongue and didn't say "It means Safe to smoke") and also wondering on the bus trip back to the accommodation whether the bus could fit through the drive-through at MacDonalds.


The actual trip itself was good, with a drive through woods, forests and rainforest, and a walk through the rain forest as well. We drove down 75 mile beach, stopping at the wreck of an old liner, at a fresh water river which we walked up, and at the amazing 'coloured sands' stack. Turns out all sand is technically coloured.
We also went up in the hills to a lake that isn't fed by any rivers - it's a peat lined hole that holds all of the rain water. It was stained with tannins from the tea trees all around.

Tomorrow: Ever been picked up by the fuzz?

Day 26: Glasshouse Mountains to Hervey Bay (via Noosa)

After a fine night in Caloundra it is unfortunately time to move on again. We're on our way to Hervey Bay, but not without first taking in some of the fine sights en route. We set off on the scenic road that takes us high into the mountains up to lookout point. It's a beautiful morning, hot and dry and we're treated to an amazing vista of the different shaped peaks, named by Captain Cook when he first saw them from the sea because he thought they resembled the glasshouse factories of home. Most Aussies will tell you it's a fairly stupid name for them, but stupid or not, they're pretty impressive.

Sadly time and tide press on and so must we, but we continue the scenic drive upto Noosa Heads where we take a few hours for lunch. It's a beautiful little town that hasn't been too spoilt by the neccessity of tourism, the beautiful weather has sent most people in the direction of the beach, even Matt and I treat ourselves to a paddle along the shore, it's pretty much a case of everyone in the water and 'if you've got it flaunt it' or in our cases just 'flaunt it'.

Before we leave we quickly locate some potential properties for our next two nights in Hervey Bay and set on the road again. Matt has taken to the wheel now and I get cracking with the ring rounds. The first place I phone is called the Happy Wanderer Apartments, how can I possibly go wrong? I ring, the phone is picked up, then I have to wait while he clearly deals with someone else and I assume I have the right number "yes mate?" so I start making my speal then I get "ah listen mate can I take your number and call you back?" Fine, no problem, he's a busy man.. "yes it's a UK mobile 00..."

"0 what?"

"0044"

"ah listen mate we don't do that"

I'm not happy and I am wandering what has gone wrong. The story is actually longer but I can't be arsed to go into the depths of how much he annoyed me. Thankfully the next place I called had vacancies and 'Playa Concha, Tiffany speaking' was perfect for what we needed.

A quick pop out to the shops to get food for our next few dinners and it was time to settle in, I'd been feeling a bit under the weather all day and we had to be up early for our pre-booked tour to Fraiser Island the following day.

Tomorrow; desert island dogs.

Day 25: All that glisters might just be gold

Dropped the car off and early check in with Virgin Blue again, then at 10am we were off up to the Gold Coast, Coastal Queensland. The 2 hour flight went pretty swiftly as Dan was plugged in to the online entertainment system and I had my head stuck in a trashy novel.

Arrived at the airport for yet another complete change of climate. The south has been very much in Autumn, here it is strongly summer: blue skies, bright sunshine, 30deg C heat and 50% humidity.

We hadn't booked a car yet (our final itinerary was written on the back of a beer mat in the hotel bar last night) but working the desks at the airport got us a pretty good deal and an upgraded car. It also got a few incredulous looks at how far we are planning to drive this week.

We left and went through the Gold Coast, working north. The Gold Coast is really as it's described: basically Benidorm. Still, interesting to see.

It's quite out-doorsy here and everyone is either into sports or beach going which leads to some relaxed attitudes to attire. At the service station where we stopped to get lunch and gas (going native with the references there) one guy who came in to get fuel had his shorts so low, you could practically see his map of Tasmania.

Dan reading up on the map suggested we head as far north as a place on the coast called Caloundra, about 40K north of Brisbane. We both agreed that having just had quite a time in cities (Sydney and Melbourne) it would be good to see some other places and bypass Brisbane.

This was a very good call. We arrived at about 4 and drove around to find a place to stay, ending up with a very nice 2-bedroom apartment with views of the sea and an outside balcony. Wandering back along the beach, there was a great outdoor pool, long wooden sidewalks along the beach, outdoor showers, water fountains and communal barbeques. We were just in time for sunset and got some great views of the sunset behind the tower blocks, and with the Glasshouse Mountains (where we are going tomorrow) in the background.

It's still warm and humid in the evening, but quite a nice, refreshing breeze which makes a long walk along the beachfront and in to town relaxing and nice.

We had a nice dinner at the local surf club (think the British Legion!) and then back to the swanky apartment for a long game of scrabble where Dan helped me enormously but I still lost.

Everything in the apartment building is operated by key, including the lift and the big door to the underground parking. The lift opens directly into the parking lot, and I've seen way too many rubbish American thrillers to not scare myself stupid going down to get some things out of the car. Otherwise, using the lift feels like you are a secret service agent, turning the key first to gain special access to secret levels. But that may just be me.


Tomorrow: The Glasshouse Mountains and on to Hervey Bay (definitely NOT the Australian Zoo with Steve Irwin)

Day 24: Getalong to Geelong

We left Port Campbell this morning and started back along the main coast road. We had originally planned to complete the loop inland, but much of the ocean road goes inland anyway, so we thought it would be nicer to revisit a few places and catch any of the lookout points that we missed on the way up.

We did see some really great rock formations that we missed earlier: it was like living through a real life A-level geography lesson, all that was missing was Mr Quilter's descriptions of 'peter the pebble'.

This was the Saturday of the long weekend, so there were lots more people out and about than there had been on Thursday, and this lent quite a different air to a lot of the locations.

It was also nice from a 'smug points' point of view to be travelling in the opposite direction to the majority of traffic!

We stopped off in a town at the end/start of the ocean road, called Torquay, which felt a bit odd. It's meant to be a very lively, action-packed town that is seething with surfers. Not so much off-season. In fact mid-way through lunch, where we were huddled in doors in our jackets, Dan got the owner to close the door. About 2 minutes later, the heavens opened and it absolutely whammed it down for the rest of the day.

We also stopped off in a place called Geelong (no idea still if that's a hard or soft G at the beginning) where we again parked up and got very wet and very cold. This far south at this time of year, it's not quite the Australia one imagines.

We unfortunately mis-timed it so that we didn't get to explore the Wool Museum. Sorry, just checking my notes: The National Wool Museum. Not just any wool musuem you see, but the one for the entire country. And it's a big country. With a lot of sheep. I imagine it could have taught the Falmouth National Maritime Museum a thing or too.


Finally we left the delights of Wool behind, and headed to our final stop in Melbourne: the Holiday Inn at the Airport. This was particuarly handy as we had arranged for the car to go back to the airport and we had an early morning check in.

We had dinner in the bar, and I managed to score some ear plugs for reception in the hope that Dan might be able to get a proper night's sleep even with my incessant snoring. Sorry Dan!

Tomorrow: The Gold Coast and a real change of climate.

Day 23: The Ocean Road Pt II - The Revenge

Up bright and early in our modest accommodation (the town's nightlife croaks) and we're ready to journey on what the guidebook promises to be 'the best stretch of the ocean road'. Initially we were optimistic, the first bay, the Bay of Martyrs was stunning and a change in weather for the worse from yesterday made them feel much more dramatic as the waves surged in. We were surprised to find a blow hole too, a sudden opening in the ground where the cliff had been eaten away by the sea and again you could see and hear large storm waves - this time inland quite bizarre!

Spurred on by our 'discoveries' this morning we decided to push on to the next settlement expecting to be wooed by more breathtaking sights. Sadly as the road continued we discovered that it led inland by nearly 20k, Matt and I took issue, there is clearly grounds for some sort of case to the State of Victoria's trading standards department 'Ocean Road'? What ocean road.

Maybe it was the continually worsening weather or the lack of anything to see that our initial enthusiasm was fast becoming something of a damp squibb. We pulled into Warnambool to take a look at the whale beach (not beached whales) if we had been there a few weeks later we may well have seen some of the Southern Ocean Right Whales, I thought I could see something on the horizon using my zoom lens, but it was more likely a bit of dirt!

We pushed on through a few more seaside towns, but a lack of people and the promised 'stunning scenery' had not been realised. Wanting to make the most of the remaining days light we decided to head back to the section of road near where we were staying and had had such a promising start this morning. I don't wish to be too heavy on this amazing stretch of coastline and to have one 'not so good day' is hardly a reason to complain, it just seemed to be the theme of the day, expectations driven a little higher by how amazing everything has been this holiday.

Back at Port Campbell thefinal high expectation of the day was the sight of karaoke being set up in the local bar, I really thought I had lucked in - a small town, population 200 and I've sniffed out the karaoke... it's a private function, bitterly upset!

Tomorrow, Matt consoles my broken karaoke heart!